Taking a Leap of Faith with The Q Process
By Certified Q Coach Rev. Denese Schellink
There are times when peace of mind seems like such a distant reality and you come to realize that your only transportation option is a leap of faith.
As a Q Coach now of 2 years, I still get triggered. I say “still” because I was under the delusion that if I mastered this practice, I would no longer get triggered. There are fewer moments, yes. Progress, not perfection. The more difficult the situation, the more resistant I am to want to delve into it through the Q Process. Why? Because my mind defaults to an interpretation that claims the problem is outside of me.
Fortunately, I am encouraged to stay the course, when I remember the many times I and others have seen the amazing spiritual, emotional, and mental liberation that comes through trusting the process.
It takes a leap of faith to hazard the trepidation I feel when exploring the dungeon of my egoic painbody, to do the awareness work, and dissolve the painful story. And once I’ve made this courageous leap I am inevitably rewarded with a spacious freedom and a homecoming to my true heart. This is the pearl of great price, the emotional and mental freedom born of faith and the courage to look unflinchingly at the source of our suffering. And this pearl enriches with a greater sense of Compassion for self and others.
I had a powerful demonstration of this reversal during my training to become a Q Coach with Dr. Gary and Dr. Jane Simmons. One of my biggest triggers fired off when I received feedback on one of my coaching demonstrations. I experienced the feedback as criticism and promptly dropped into my shadow beliefs of I am not enough, I don’t matter, and I am inadequate.
Although a part of me recognized this situation as a pivotal moment for me to ask for support and not run, my ego shouted that this process was not for me. It argued that I needed an escape and did not want to look within. But I stayed for the remainder of the day’s work, not at all sure I would return the next day. So after a dark night of soul searching, I gathered enough courage to write to Dr. Gary and share my angst and questioning state.
Here is what I said:
I am struggling here trying to be present in my body in this moment and asking for a sign to keep doing this Q Process work, After your remarks today during the debriefing I did with …, I really got triggered. I felt disturbed, vulnerable, embarrassed and ashamed, I really want to do a worksheet on this because I know it will help, but I am also feeling disheartened, and dejected.